Sunday, June 15, 2014

Blame

It's late at night when the sound of yelling wakes up the sleeping five year old. She sits up in bed, her red hair a tangle of curls on her head, and sleepy green eyes look around her dark room.
Kicking back her blankets, she slips off her bed, bare feet making no noise across the horrible red and black carpet. As she peers through the open door, and around the corner, she can clearly hear her mum and dad arguing. At first, this confuses her. Her parents didn't argue, they loved each other, and they loved their kids.
Out loud, she calls for her mum, and the arguing stops and a tall woman with curly blonde hair comes around the corner, a small smile of her face. She picks up her daughter, asking what she was doing awake, then proceeds to tuck the small girl back in bed.
Every night for nearly four months, her parents argue until finally one day, her dad announces that he's got a business trip he needs to go on, and will be away for a while. When asked if she could go too, the five year old was told sternly, "It's only for a short while, Ellie, and I'll be home before you know it."
A week later, Ellie woke up to a loud crash. Thinking there was a monster, at first she cowered under her mum's blanket, but then her thought's turned to her baby brother. So forcing herself up, she marched into the living room, intent on protecting her brother. Instead of the scene she was expecting, what Ellie saw instead was her mother sitting on the floor, crying, a kitchen chair was thrown across the room.
Wrapping her small arms around her mum's, she realized the truth of what was going on. Her dad had lied. He was gone. He was never coming back. For weeks after, he mother constantly told her that it wasn't Ellie's fault. But it was. She didn't know how, just was. Maybe if she'd been good, and hadn't been such a brat, or maybe if she had done better in school, and not tried to get in trouble so much.
It was her fault her baby brother wouldn't have a dad.

NOTE:
Another thing that really happened. This is actually a memory of my own, I just changed the name. My parents divorced when I was a child, and I always thought it was my fault, that I didn't behave enough for my dad to still love me.

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